how to become gay, step 1: listen to the right music
http://www.lovegodsway.org/GayBands
look at all the bands on this list. no wonder i’m gay!
i can understand barring your kids from hanging out with gays(we’re a funny, convincing people after all and nothing would make us happier than turning a straight over to the dark side, speaking from experience), i can even understand denouncing gay marriage and telling all gay people we’re going to hell in a hand basket for doing the one thing you forget to teach in church: loving someone with all of who you are. but what i don’t get is how elton john is going to convince little johnny to go out and suck a cock. i’m pretty sure you couldn’t pay me enough to do that(unless i was really desperate). what about ben gibbard? eminem? beck? NICKELBACK? really?! who still listens to them? no one! okay, so maybe jenny lewis of rilo kiley could convince little sally to eat some pussy or rufus wainwright might encourage billy to go see Brokeback Mountain… but i’m pretty sure they’re just awakening the latent homosexual desires that your closeminded, disgusting church continues to repress in them. i wish i could teach these gay haters that IT ISN’T THINGS LIKE THIS THAT MAKE YOUR CHILDREN GAY. STOP CLOSING THEM OFF FROM THE WORLD. LET THEM BE THEIR OWN PEOPLE.
by the way, did anyone else notice how gay is capitalized? are we being persecuted for crimes we did not commit like jesus? GAY IS THE WAY. after all, who has the best sex? that’s right, gays. we know our own parts, people!
fuck.
2 years ago • Notes