curious.
so why is it that i always seem to have all these deep thoughts at 2 AM on a saturday night, bathed in darkness, listening to the sound of sleep and the whir of energy(i can’t tell if its my own invention or the house)? i like thinking, i come to find. i like it best after i’m given something to consider—a theme posed, or perhaps an argument to which i am supposed to compose a thesis, or to break something down.
by the way, i’m not crazy—the whir was the house because it just shut off.
after five months… five months, i feel more myself than i ever have. is that odd? to feel like yourself, like discovering a part of yourself you lost somewhere(under the bed, next to that damn sock you lost that you’ve long since grown out of and a mouldy sandwich, the little plastic baggy still firmly sealed)? i’m sure it has quite a bit to do with losing heavy weight on my heart and in that, gaining hindsight, foresight. i have learned a lot. i love. i think it is easier to appreciate the present tense now. i have gained more than i have ever lost in this moment.
i know this is all hard to follow(stream of consciousness writing makes me feel edgy and pretentious). but i figure if i have my own little niche of the internet, i may as well fill it with important, cool thoughts.
i am happy.
2 years ago • Notes